New Beginning
by Themoonlight02
Summary: Au. They finally could begin which for too many reasons they couldn't start during the war. John wasn't fully recovered, but his friend who now shared more than a friendship with him, was always there to help him. Kaidan was always there for John as a friend, now he finally have his love. This is a fiction about, recovery, and how to adjust to civilian life, or family. No Reapers.
1. Chapter 1

Kaidan was sitting next to Garrus in one of the tables at the reception. He has his gaze fixed straight ahead, where in a while Commander Shepard would be receiving a medal for his victory against the Reapers. Kaidan was waiting for this moment to leave and start a new life away from Shepard. He plans to leave immediately the reception was over.

Kaidan Alenko had been in love with John for many years, but his commander just look at him as a friend. It was time he moved away from what was hurting him. All these months Kaidan has looked after John with devotion. John was in in bad shape for a while. John was in a coma for a month and then his recovery was slow and painful.

When he found him under the debris in the Citadel, John was dying. That moment was very hard for him. To have his commander, the man he loves dying in his arms was something that he couldn't describe. He shook his head trying to shake that painful moment of his mind.

"Kaidan you are okay?" Garrus asked his friend.

"Yes, I just have a slight headache.

"Oh. Hey, after this, we all are going to meet at Anderson's apartment to celebrate. I imagine you I'll be there too."

Kaidan looked at his friend for a moment before answering. "No. I have my things on the Shuttle; I'm going to my mother house. After the death of my father, she needs me."

"But, what about Shepard?"

"What about Shepard?" Kaidan asked him a little confused with his question.

"He needs you!"

Kaidan notices the anger and disappointment in Garrus voice. "Garrus the Commander is feeling a lot better. He no longer needs me."

"That's what you think Kaidan? Just look at him. I don't think he is well yet. I mean he tries to pretend that he's fine, but I know he's not fully recovered"

Kaidan looked toward John, who was walking slowly towards the dais. "He has Cortez; the Lieutenant is always in the apartment." Kaidan said, unable to keep the tone of jealousy. Cortez was always visiting him at the apartment, and Kaidan just locked himself in his bedroom, and left them alone. Kaidan couldn't say that he had seen them doing anything more than talk, but the way Steve looked at John said it all.

"You're a fool Kaidan."

"What are you saying that?" Kaidan asked his friend without anger for his insult. Kaidan simply didn't understand where Garrus was trying to say with his comment.

"There only has been a man that Shepard has always looked a different way. The thing is that Shepard has always been devoted to his work."

Kaidan didn't understand his words. He looked over to John, who was now sitting in a chair behind the podium. His commander was facing the table where they were sitting, and he was looking directly at him. Kaidan held his gaze for a moment, and something in the way John was looking at him made him shiver.

Kaidan looked at Garrus again. "You're referring to me?"

"I can't say. Just don't go without talking to Shepard."

"Okay."

"I'm going to tell you something Kaidan; Shepard is a difficult man to understand, and you know that. He's not easily open to anyone. These months during the war I saw him relaxed, laughing and in a good mood, and in every occasion that I saw him like that, there was always someone else present," Garrus said and stared intently at Kaidan.

Kaidan was going to say something, but he hears Hackett voice. Kaidan looked to the stage again, and this time his commander gave him a charming smile. Silently Kaidan hears the speech that the Admiral gave to everyone, it was a beautiful speech. He saw John take the medal, and then address to everyone who was there today.

"Thank you all for being here tonight. I want you all to know that I didn't do this alone I had a team who fought side by side with me. This medal is theirs too. My team was willing to give their lives for this galaxy, thanks to you all. Also, I can't forget to mention all the soldiers who fought, and those who gave their lives for this galaxy. I'm just a man, but there were many who made this day possible, thanks to all of you to fight to death for our freedom."

Kaidan couldn't help being moved by that speech. The admiral said few more words before finishing the ceremony. Kaidan got up from the table and walked to his commander, who had an expression of pain on his face. John suffered multiple broken bones in his fall, and his bones were still healing.

When Kaidan was reaching John, he saw Cortez grab the Commander's hand and Kaidan suddenly stood. What he saw next broke his heart when Steve grabbed the Commander's cheek, and then kissed him. Kaidan just turned around and walked rapidly toward the exit of the room. Luckily no one saw the tears that he couldn't contain.

When he was outside Kaidan cursed when he saw that it was raining heavily. He looks toward the Shuttle, that was parked across the street, but he have to leave; his mother was waiting for him tomorrow, and he needed to get away from John. Kaidan had planned to spend the night in a hotel, and not to answer any calls that his commander might make to him

He crossed the street quickly and opened the door, and he enters the Shuttle. Once inside he let out a deep sigh. Before turning on the Shuttle he looks at the site, and to his surprise he ran into John, who was watching him with hurt. Kaidan saw him start crossing the street slowly. He came out of the Shuttle, and he begins to walk quickly toward John.

Kaidan reached John and take him back to the curb. "John what the hell you doing outside, it's raining?" Kaidan saw John look at him angrily. He moved his hand to his cheek; they were both soaked. "John-"

John slaps his hand. "You were going to leave without talking to me first?"

"No, I was going to tell you, but I saw you with your boyfriend," Kaidan said, he was speaking out loud because the rain was falling harder.

"What fucking boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend."

"Cortez." His commander gave him a weird look.

"Cortez is not my boyfriend."

"I saw him kissing you-"

"If you had stayed, you could have seen how I reject him," John grabbed his cheek. "You're a fool; there has been only a man who interested me all these years, and that man is you.

Kaidan took a step back. He couldn't believe however, much he wanted to believe his commander, what he was telling him. "I don't believe you. You turned me down that day in the Citadel." Kaidan saw John grab his leg and rubbed. "You're all right?"

"No, I've been feeling pain all day."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kaidan grabbed him by the arm; he didn't want to enter the hotel again; therefore, he slowly led him to the Shuttle. Once inside they looked at each other intently for a moment. "Let's go to the apartment so you can change your clothes before your guests arrive. The last thing you need now is to catch a cold that could affect your recovery."

"You mean change our clothes right, or you're going to leave in spite of what I just confessed?"

"My mother is waiting for me tomorrow, she needs me. You're well enough to handle yourself."

"I am not well yet; I haven't said anything, not to worry you. You've been taking care of me all this time, and I've seen you suffer for me."

"My mother-"

"I'll go with you then, but I need you."

"You reject me, how can you tell me now that you need me?"

"It wasn't like that. Let's go to the apartment, there I'll explain why I didn't tell you about my feelings for you."

"Okay John calls Garrus and tells him we're going to be in the apartment."

Kaidan started the shuttle and headed to the apartment. His Commander grabbed his hand squeezing tightly, and Kaidan could see him close his eyes and throw his head back. Kaidan couldn't avoid, but to smile at the thought that all this time he was wrong to think that John didn't share his feelings.

That day in the Citadel, John rejects him, but he couldn't deny that when he did Kaidan saw hurt in John's eyes. Sadly Kaidan accepts that decision, but he can't deny that John behaved very differently with him than with the rest of his crew. Too many times it looked that John wanted to say something, but never dared to.

The night before Cronos, the two of them talked until very late. Kaidan gave comfort to his friend. That day in London John said goodbye to him harshly, but Kaidan could see tears in his eyes before he left him with his broken heart. He lived moments of terror as the Normandy returning to Earth, without news from John.

Half an hour later they arrived at the apartment. John had fallen asleep Kaidan didn't want to wake him. "John... John."

John opened his eyes, and looked at Kaidan for a moment, then moved his hand to his cheek. "Can you help me; the pain in my leg is killing me."

"You want to cancel the party?"

"No, I only need my pain pills."

Kaidan came out of the shuttle; he felt uncomfortable with those wet clothes. He helped John get out of the shuttle, and a moment later the two entered the apartment. Kaidan quickly look for his pills and gave it to him.

"Go change, I'll go get my suitcase to bring clothes for me for tonight." Kaidan turned around, but John grabbed his hand. "John-"

"You are going to take me with you tomorrow?"

Kaidan saw his plea in his eyes, and he smiled as he thought that he couldn't say no to that man. "Okay, but you have a lot to explain to me because you hurt me that day deeply."

"I know, and I'll."

Kaidan went to the Shuttle, and when he returned, John was changing in his room. He went to the room below where he has been staying for five months. He took off his wet clothes and then he began to change. He put his pants and his shoes on then he was about to put his shirt on, when he felt John's penetrating gaze on his back.

Kaidan turned around and saw John, who was standing at the doorway then he saw him walk slowly towards him. His Commander touched his chest. Kaidan grabbed his hand and led it to his mouth to kiss his fingers slowly. He started to say something, but John stopped him with a deep kiss.

It was what Kaidan always wanted therefore he corresponded to that kiss intensely. He put his arms around John's waist drawing him closer to close the distance between them. His commander tongue began to explore every corner of his mouth; Kaidan did the same thing with his own.

John's mouth taste as well as he had imagined, good, delicious. He broke the kiss for a second to breathe, but kissed him back again immediately. His Commander bit his lips gently making him laugh between their lips, but Kaidan didn't break the kiss, until a while later.

"I hate you," Kaidan say.

John rested his forehead against Kaidan's. "Do you really hate me?"

"Yes. You have made me wait this long to taste your lips."

"I think the wait was worth it, don't you think?"

"Every second of it, but why you rejected me, incidentally, that night you made me cry a sea of tears."

His Commander hugged him tightly, and Kaidan could feel his body tremble; therefore, he takes him to the bed, where they sat down to talk. Kaidan then put on his shirt, but he noted the disappointment in his eyes. "What?"

John grabbed his hand. "You looked better without it."

"Commander..."

"Listen Kaidan, you weren't the only one that cry a sea of tears that night, so did I, I cry in anger and frustration. I wanted to say yes, in the Citadel date so badly. I didn't do it because I felt it wasn't fair to the millions of races that were dying that I take a moment to be happy, when hundreds and thousands were dying every day. The same night I made a promise to myself to win the war, and then I was going to tell you that I love you. "

"John-"

"I'm sorry if I made you suffer Kaidan, but I try to cover up the emptiness of my love, with my friendship towards you. To have you by my side all the time giving me support, and all these months you have put your life on hold for me meant a lot to me." John grabbed his cheek and stroked it with his thumb. "You know I always gave you special treatment."

"I know, but why you didn't tell me all these months?"

"The pain in my body didn't let me. You know that until a month ago I have been doped in painkillers. I wanted to be at my feet when I told you, in fact; I was going to tell you tonight."

"What made you go outside of the hotel looking for me?'

"Garrus approached me and told me in a serious tone, "If you don't want to lose Kaidan, run because he is leaving." I did, well I couldn't run, but I walk as fast as I could go. "

Kaidan didn't know what to say, his heart was filled with joy. "Why Steve kiss you?"

"Steve misunderstands things. Immediately he did I scold him, first because that kiss was inappropriate at the time, and second because I didn't give him a reason to do so. Kaidan I love you."

Kaidan was going to say something, but he hears the door. "C'mon they are already arriving."

"Wait, do you love me?"

Kaidan smiled and kissed him gently. "Yes I do I always have."

* * *

><p>John got up from bed to follow Kaidan. He felt a little dizzy, but he said nothing. His body wasn't in the same shape as before. John could barely walk properly; he has a cane, but he hated using it. His body suffered from muscle spasms and severe bone pain, his legs were what hurt the most. John knows that he was on the verge of death when Kaidan found him that day, and who helped him to recover all these months has been him.<p>

His mother has been at his side as well, but she was off world right now, helping with rescues, and with all the races that still trapped on earth. John kept in touch with her, and she would be back soon, when that happen he was going to have lot things to tell her.

John has waited for this moment for years. Kaidan has no idea how hard it was for him to reject him that day. John has had to contain his desire to have Kaidan all this time. John couldn't have been happier with Kaidan knowing that every second a family was losing a loved one during the war.

Now he was going to waste another minute without Kaidan's love. John felt panic when Garrus told him that Kaidan was leaving, if that would have happened, he would have gone after him immediately. John had heard him crying at the foot of his bed many times while he was doped with painkillers.

"John," Kaidan approached him and grabbed his hand. "I can see the pain in your face."

"Yes, the pills haven't worked yet."

"I don't want you to be standing for too long."

"That's your first order as boyfriends?"

"Yes it is."

"Then I'm happy to obey."

John left with Kaidan to the living room and met up with Garrus and the rest of his crew, well the only one who wasn't there was Joker, who was hurt by what had happened to Edi. John hasn't had the courage to go see him, but he knew that sooner or later he was going to have to do it. Joker was like his brother, and John wanted to explain, why he made that decision that led him to kill each synthetic that was in the galaxy.

John saw Steve look at him with a strange look. He approached Garrus. "Hey."

"I see you could stop Kaidan."

"Yes, but if I hadn't arrived in time, I would have gone to find him anywhere."

Garrus chuckled. "I doubt it, if you now move like an old man."

"Oh, thank Garrus!" John said, rolling his eyes.

"You welcome."

John looks for Kaidan with his eyes and saw him talking to Liara. He felt a twinge of pain in his right leg, and immediately he took his hand rubbing it. "Shit."

"Shepard you're feeling okay? You've gotten pale."

John saw Kaidan walking quickly toward him. "You're right; I not only walk like an old man, I feel like one too. Fuck!" John moaned in pain; then he suddenly started to feel dizzy.

"John!" Kaidan arrives on time before he fell to the floor.

"I'm fine."

"The hell you are Shepard you look like a ghost. Kaidan let's take him to the couch."

"John you're pushing yourself to the limit."

"You two are very concerned about me. I'm fine I just felt a little dizzy. "

"Kaidan is right, Shepard, so don't move from the couch."

"Okay, God!"

The rest of the evening John had to be sitting on the couch while Kaidan was attending all of them. John was feeling useless, but the truth was that he didn't feel well at all. John saw Lira, approaching him. "Hey."

"Hey, how do you feel?"

"I'm not feeling well. Thanks for coming."

"You welcome Shepard; you have to take care of yourself. You've done a lot for all of us it's time for you to rest."

"I will, and believe me even if I wanted to help with the rebuilding, I couldn't do it. My body is no longer the same as before."

"I know Shepard, or you forget that I was with Kaidan when you were found. You are alive by a miracle."

John noticed the shaking in her voice, so he grabbed her by the hand. "Hey, I'm here."

"Yes you are my friend. In these days I'm going to be busy, but I'll come by to see you as soon as I can."

"Okay, I'll be gone for a few days. Kaidan's mother needed him, and I'll go with him." John said then the two of them talked for a while.

The meeting only lasted a couple of hours; they all left early so he could rest. John saw Kaidan pick up the empty bottles around the room, and he started to get up to help him, but Kaidan gave him a look that made him sit back down quickly. A few minutes later Kaidan sat beside him.

"You didn't let me help you."

"No, you don't feel good. I'll take you to bed."

"The bed...huh ... Okay but only if you stay with me."

"Okay, old man let's go."

"You too? I have enough with Garrus calling me that way, now my boyfriend too," John said, laughing.

With Kaidan help, John climbed the stairs, and when he went to sit on the bed after they reach the room, he screams pain. "Damn it!"

"Do you want me to take you to see a doctor?" Kaidan asks him with concern.

"No, just help me to lie in bed."

"Okay, you're going to have to use a cane because I think you're putting too much weight on your legs."

"Yes you are right," John said as he leaned back on the bed. Kaidan takes off his shoes. He let out a sigh of relief, and then looked at Kaidan. "Get comfortable, and come with me."

"Comfortable?" Kaidan said blushing.

John laughed. "You have a dirty mind Major. I meant to take off your shoes, well I don't mind if you took away something else."

"John!"

"What? Get use to it you are going to see I side of me you never saw."

"I can't wait." Kaidan took off his shoes and got into bed. He smiled when John snuggled next to him, and grabbed his hand.

"I wanted to be like that with you, for a long time," John said, and then move his head to capture his lips. "Uhm ... when are we going to consummate our love?" John saw him laugh. "What?"

"Consummate our love, I guess it is a fancy way of saying, but I think you mean to asks me is, when we are going to have sex?"

John enters his hand down his shirt; he signs to feel his bare skin. "Yes that is, exactly, what I mean I'm dying to be with you."

"We'll as soon you no longer feel pain. You are sure you want to go with me to my mother? I can cancel."

"Oh, yes of course I want to go. Your mom wouldn't say anything if we slept in the same room; I don't want to be away from you."

"Kaidan laughed." it will take some explaining to do, but I don't think she is going to objects to that."

"Good. Do you want to see a movie?" John asks him.

"Yes we can do that."

"I love you Major."

"I love you Commander."


	2. Chapter 2

It had been many years since the last time John had awakened in the company of someone in bed; therefore, when he woke up that morning in the company of Kaidan in bed, he felt estrange. Kaidan was fast asleep. John took the time to look at him carefully for a little while.

John liked absolutely everything about Kaidan. Kaidan apart from being a handsome man he was a wonderful human being too. John would never get tired of thanking him for looking after him all these months. It had not been easy for the both of them. The first few months of his recovery when he wasn't doped in painkillers he was grumpy, but Kaidan never judge him for his bad mood; however, he understood him.

There were nights that the pain was so intense that he uses to wake up drenched in sweat screaming in despair. Often he felt the desire to die not to feel the constant pain in his bones. He had suffered a strong blow to the head in his fall so he suffered from severe headaches. Often Kaidan uses to hug him tightly while he was shaking in pain into the pain stop.

Yes, he couldn't deny that Steve was always on the lookout for him too, but John has always looked to him as a friend and an excellent pilot. John felt sorry that Steve lost the man he loves, his husband, so that is why during the war he gave him his support without any second intention. Yesterday he was a bit rude to Steve, but he didn't like at all what he did.

John saw Kaidan move in bed, and he carefully unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt. He swallowed hard at the sight of his chest. He moved closer to Kaidan, and he entered his hand inside his shirt to caress his waist. He couldn't deny that his leg was hurting, but he wanted to be close to him to feel his body.

John started to kiss his cheek, and a moment later he saw Kaidan open his eyes. "Good morning," John said, and gave him a short kiss on the mouth. John saw him looking at him for a moment. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes, this is the best awakening I've had in a while. Tell me how do you feel?"

"I'm fine," he lied, the pain in his leg had increased. John pressed Kaidan's waist tightly and rubbed his nose with Kaidan's. He sighs when Kaidan ran his hand around his waist

"Don't lie to me, I beg you."

John took a deep breath and brought his lips to Kaidan's. "Kai is my leg. I don't know what's happening, but it bothers me even more every day," John said, before kissing him, but he broke the kiss to let out a moan of pain.

"Okay, let's do this. I'm going to get out of bed, and I'll prepare a good breakfast for you to take your pills. Prior to leaving to my mother, we are going to see a doctor."

"Okay I'll do whatever you say."

John didn't have anything else to do than listen to him. He wanted to know why his legs, especially the right one was aching so much. He saw Kaidan move to get away, but he stopped him. "Give me a minute more." John didn't want to get away from him ever.

"John-"

John put his finger in his mouth. "Thanks for everything you do for me. You don't know how much I love you," John said and hugged him tightly. "Now having you in my arms I wonder how I could resist all those months working by your side, without doing this. I guess like I said last night, it was worth waiting.

Kaidan kisses his cheek. "Yes, I don't know how you did it. It was hard for me to have you so closer, and not to be able to touch you. About thank me you have nothing to thank me for Commander; I watch over you with love, and I will continue doing it. I love you too."

John pull away from him and saw Kaidan get up from the bed he did the same. He walks to the bathroom. He needed a shower; his body felt hot, maybe because he got wet last night. John walked into the bathroom, and takes off his clothes slowly and entered the shower. He opened the hot water and let out a sigh of relief when the hot water was running down his legs, easing his pain.

John wasn't even a quarter of the strong man who won the war a few months ago. Kaidan was taking what was left of Commander Shepard, but he was going to try to be healthy for that man. John hasn't thought what he was going to do now. He couldn't return to his old life, not in the condition his body was now, besides, he didn't want to.

His fear now was not being able to satisfy Kaidan, as a man. A while ago he felt desire for him, but the pain immediately kills his lust. "Shit!" He felt frustrated he needs to be well for Kaidan.

A while later John came out of the bathroom. He went to his closet and pulled out some jeans and a shirt. It was time to dress more inform since he wasn't Commander, right now. John now was going to have to adapt to civilian life. John had a little trouble to dress up.

After being fully clothed, John packed his clothes quickly and went to the living room. Immediately he lowers down he felt the smell of the food and headed to the kitchen. Kaidan was concentrated cooking on the stove, so he approached quietly and put his arms around his waist and kissed his cheek.

"I'm ready, by the way that smells good."

"Yes it does, go sit down."

"I'm fine here with you."

"No, go sit down!"

"Fine." Like an obedient child John went to sit at the counter to wait, but the doorbell rang, then he went to open the door, and met up with Steve at the door. "Steve."

"Sorry Shepard, I needed to talk to you."

"Okay, but I have only a few minutes. Kaidan and I are heading out to see his mother." John said and pointed out inside so that Steve entered. John then ran into Kaidan's look who was watching at him intently, but John smiled to dispel his doubts.

"Good morning Kaidan."

"Good morning Steve."

"Kai, you allow me a few minutes?" Johns ask him

"Okay, I'll finish making breakfast," Kaidan said as he nodding, and then he focus on what he was doing.

John walks with Steve into the living room, and then he sat on the couch, and Cortez sat on the other one. "Okay, talk to me."

"I came to apologize. Last night I was lulled by the heat of the moment. That speech you gave it was very emotional. Shepard I never told you openly, but I fall in love with you. You were very nice to me, and gradually you win my heart."

John rubbed his neck nervous, and he looked toward the kitchen for a moment then he looked back to Steve. "Steve I... Damn I don't know how to say this. I need you to listen to me I'm very flattered, but I have a relationship with someone else," John said honestly.

"Oh," Steve said with surprise.

"I'm sorry."

"May I ask who?"

John saw Kaidan came out of the kitchen, and smiled at him; then he looked back at Steve. "It's Kaidan."

"I see. I made an idiot of myself."

"Don't say that. You're a handsome man, and well I'm sure there is a man out there that may correspond to your feelings. My feelings were committed to Kaidan for a long time. I was just waiting for the war to end."

"Well, thanks for your honesty Shepard."

"It was the least I could do. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes Shepard, I'll have a broken heart for a while, but I'll be fine."

After Steven had left, John sat at the table with Kaidan, and after a quick breakfast they left the apartment toward Huerta Memorial hospital. Before leaving the apartment John had already taken his pills, so when they enter to the Doctor office, he was feeling a little better.

The doctor was scanning his body, and while he did, John had his eye fixed in Kaidan, who was looking at him intensely. He was feeling like a teenager right now.

"Shepard looks at me," the doctor says.

John blushed. "Excuse me doctor, but I have a very handsome boyfriend makes me distracted," John let the doctor look inside his eyes.

"He's fine, Doctor?" Kaidan asks him

"Yes, the problem is that his implants are not working, so his recovery is going to be slower. His bones are not healing fast enough, so I'll have to change his treatment, the drug that I'm going to indicate to him are stronger."

"Oh. How strong Doc? I don't want to be doped all the time. You know I want to fulfill my duties with my boyfriend."

"John!" Kaidan said all flushed.

"Well, it's true."

"Don't worry Shepard, you are going to be able to fulfill those duties, the medicine will not affect you private life, however, the pain can affect your private life. I will not deny that at first until your body adjusts to the new medicament, the medicament can make you feel dizzy and drowsy, but that is going to be temporary.

"Okay then I doesn't mind," John said enthusiastically. He only saw Kaidan shook his head. A while later the two came out of the doctor's office.

"You're terrible. I can't believe you say that to the doctor!" Kaidan said, already outside the room.

John laughed and grabbed his hand. "I told you that you're going to see a side of me you didn't know. Both entered the elevator; then he takes Kaidan's hand to his mouth kissing it.

"I've seen you in action all the time," Kaidan grabbed John's cheek to stroke it with the back of his fingers, "but I never imagined you to be so bold, and loving all at the same time. I'm surprised."

John smiled, and he ran his arms around his waist, and then led him into the wall of the elevator. John brushed his nose with Kaidan's. "You have not seen anything yet. Kaidan I have a heart full of love for you. I've never had time to have a serious relationship. When I was younger I had love affairs, but nothing serious."

"A handsome man like you must've had many lovers before."

"No, I always devote to my military career I had no time; therefore, you are going to be the first person that is going to enjoy me completely." John kissed him intensely. When Kaidan's tongue entered his mouth, John pushed his body closer to Kaidan's. The two enjoyed that kiss intensely for a bit, then he began to feel Kaidan's erection, and that arouse him.

"Kaidan," John muttered, and then Kaidan turned them around without breaking contact. His lover lower his lips to his neck that made John moaned. He tangled his fingers in Kaidan's hair. "Kaidan," he muttered again

Kaidan raised his head. "I..." Kaidan sighs. "I'm hot."

John bit his lips. "No more than me. I want to be with you tonight?"

"Yes we'll, but only if you feel good."

"Okay, hopefully I'll." John kissed him again, but he was forced to break the kiss when the elevator came to a complete stop. "I love you... C'mon I'm dying to meet your mother.

* * *

><p>On the way to his mother's house Kaidan could calmly chat with John, he was amazed at what John could speak that it wasn't referring to the war. During the war they talked for hours about the Reapers, among other things, but the main thing for Kaidan was to give support to John.<p>

Many times he found him in bad shape in his cabin, and Kaidan gave him the confidence he needed to lift his soul. He couldn't forget when he found him in his cabin after what happened in Thessia. Kaidan saw a Commander Shepard that he had never seen before. That night John was feeling defeated, and for the first time Kaidan saw him crying.

Kaidan glance at him for a second, the man was handsome. He rested his hand on his leg, and he felt John's piercing gaze as he looked toward the road, then John squeezed his hand.

"Are you feeling okay?" Kaidan asks him.

"Yes, you worry too much about me."

"John, you almost died in my arms, of course, I care about you."

"And you saved my life. I know you rushed to take me to the hospital, and you used to cry day and night."

"How do you know?"

"Well, sometimes I opened my eyes and saw you, but I couldn't stay awake. I was feeling very weak."

"Too many times I thought you weren't going to make it." Kaidan cleared his throat. "I was terrified."

John moved closer to him. "I'm sorry Kaidan, but I'm here now, not quite right, but I am here to try to be happy with you."

"I know."

"Hey do you think you we could go dancing one of these nights?

Kaidan couldn't avoid laughing after hear that. "First you don't know how to dance, second with the pain of your legs I don't think it's appropriate." Kaidan saw John give him a sad look, "but I think we can go dancing for a bit," Kaidan then saw him smile.

"How is the area around your mother house?"

"It's small; there is a bar nearby, and the beach."

"You know what I've never done Kaidan."

"What?"

"Go fishing, I guess I want to live a normal life."

"We can do that. We can rent a boat and go fishing; I can invite my cousin he lives near."

"I'll love to do that."

An hour later the two were arriving at his mother's house. They left the Shuttle. Kaidan looked at his mother's house for a moment. He has too many memories in that house. It would be difficult to be in it without his father. John apparently realized what he was thinking because he grabbed his hand.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I was only thinking about my father."

"You've been watching over me all this time, that you haven't taken the time to mourn your father."

Kaidan sight and looked at the ground. "You right I haven't mourned the death of my father. I guess I didn't want to accept it. Nobody found his body."

"There was a funeral service?"

"Yes, you were in a coma, I leave you with Liara for two days, and I came with my mother, but even there I could break. I hate funerals with empty coffins." Kaidan said, referring to his funeral, and by the look of hurt that John gave him Kaidan knew he understood the message.

"Sorry."

"It's okay, let's go in I need to see her. I miss my mom."

Kaidan had a house key, so he opened the door and entered inside. It was now twelve o'clock, so the first thing he felt was the smell of food, and not just any food, but the smell of his favorite food. He saw his mother came out the kitchen; he couldn't help but run to her and hug her tightly.

"Mom I'm glad to see you," Kaidan said excitedly.

"Oh son, I'm happy to see you too, but... oh God, Kaidan how can you do this to me?"

Kaidan pulled away from her fast and looked at her confused. "I did what to you?"

"How could you bring Commander Shepard into my house, and don't tell me that you were going to bring him. Look at me I'm all disheveled."

"Oh, no you look gorgeous; can I give you a hug?" John asks her

"Oh, of course, you can son."

Kaidan looked at his mother embrace John enthusiastically. "Mom carefully, John is not completely recovered, in fact, he has to sit down."

"Kaidan I have been sitting for two hours in the Shuttle. Tell me Mrs. Alenko, what smells so good."

"You can call me Patricia. I'm cooking a roast chicken with roast potatoes and Greek salad."

"Oh my God Kaidan, I love your mother already, and I'll keep her."

"Oh great we have just arrived, and you already want to stole my mother."

"Son, don't get jealous. Then you two are hungry?"

"Yes!" John said enthusiastically.

"John I think I gave you plenty to eat this morning."

John rubbed his neck, "well, I think the pills make me hungry."

"Yeah excuses," Kaidan said with a smile.

"How long you two have been dating?" Patricia asks them

Kaidan eyes opened wide. "Mom how-"

"Oh son, I had never seen you that happy, also in the way you are approaching your Commander, says it all."

"Well, technically we have feeling for each other for a long time, but until yesterday we came clean about our feelings," John said honestly.

"Then welcome to the Alenko family."

"Please call me John."

"Okay."

After that his mother returned to the kitchen to serve the food. "I'll go get the bags; please I don't want you to be standing for too long."

"Yes, Man."

Kaidan went to the Shuttle and return a few minutes later. When he came back he hears John laughing he was in the kitchen with his mother. He went to his old room to leave their bags. He looked round the room, and the memories about the day that he was sitting on the bed while his father was scolding came to mind.

Kaidan let out a long sigh, and his vision clouded with tears. All this time that he has been taking care of John had distracted him enough to forget that his father was no longer with them. Now in this room that held so many memories Kaidan couldn't take it anymore.

He sat on the bed and covered his face to let out his tears. His father and he were very close. They used to get along. The time that he stays with them after John's death drew them closer. Of course he never spoke to him about his true feelings for his commanding, but it wouldn't have made a difference, because his father was a very understanding man.

His father used to be a strong, upright man, respected by all, whether at work or in the neighborhood. His mother adored him. Kaidan couldn't say he ever saw them arguing, however they were a stable marriage, and they were happy. Kaidan lived with them until he left to follow his father's footsteps in the military.

It wasn't fair that this war has taken his father away, but Kaidan knew as a soldier these things happen. The truth was that he didn't understand how his mother continued still on her feet, when they were inseparable. Definitely his mother was a fighter, a strong woman who doesn't give up even after losing the man she loves most of her life.

"Kaidan!" John said walking through the door. John crouched in front of the bed and took off Kaidan's hand from his face

"John please don't crouch down, you are going to hurt your legs."

John grabs his cheek and look deeply at him for a moment; he could see a deep sadness in Kaidan's eye. "God look at you, you are suffering because of your father, and yet you don't stop worrying about me. You're incredible," John said then stood up, he grabbed Kaidan's hand and pulled him to a hug. "Don't be sad, your mother is happy with the arrival of the great Commander Shepard in her home, don't you take that joy from her.

Kaidan can't help but to laugh. "Yes you're right."

"Okay then let's go eat."

"Yes, but there's something I have to confess first."

"What will that be?"

Kaidan walked away from him and began to pace back and forth across the room. He never had sex with a man. Kaidan had been with women before, but he had never gone beyond a kiss with a man. He was feeling ashamed to tell him.

"Kaidan what's going on?"

"I, well, John you know the kind of man I am. I talk to you about Rahna once, and about the few girlfriends I had after her."

"Yes, of course I remember, but?"

"I've never had sex with a man." Kaidan let out a deep sigh and saw the surprise in John's eyes. "I mean I've kissed a man once, but that was it." Kaidan looked down he felt ashamed. "Sorry."

"Kaidan," John approached him again and grab his chin lifted his head. "Look at me," Kaidan did. "Well, I'm flattered that I'll be the first man in your life."

"You do?"

"Of course, silly," John hugged him. "Oh, Major Alenko everything will be okay. If my body allows we will have a great time."

After that embarrassing moment, the two returned with his mother. Kaidan looked at his mother, and she looked good. They weren't a colossal family. He has an aunt and an uncle from the side of his father. Kaidan has a lot of cousins, thank God none of them died in the war.

"Oh God Kaidan, this tastes delicious. Patricia I had never eaten anything so tasty like this."

"Really, my son is a good cook too."

"Thanks, mom," Kaidan said.

"Yes indeed Kaidan cook good too, but admit it Kaidan; you've never cooked anything like this."

Patricia laughed. "How long you two plan to stay?"

"A week," Kaidan replied

"Great so John I'll cook my best meals, the two of you look too skinny. My son always talked about you. Kaidan suffered greatly all those months you were struggling between life and death."

John looked at Kaidan lovely for a moment. "I know you have a wonderful son."

Kaidan grabbed his mother's hand. "Mother, how are you?"

"I'm fine son. I can't deny I miss your father, but I have you and for you I have to move forward."

Kaidan kisses his mother hand. "I love you mom."

"I love you too."

After lunch, and after spent an enjoyable afternoon with his mother they went to the room to rest. Kaidan was concerned about John; he was giving signs of not feeling well. When his legs hurt him John rub on it to help the circulation of blood. The doctor had recommended therapy, but his stubborn boyfriend doesn't want to.

"You are in pain?"

"A little, the effect of the drug is wears off."

"I have an idea I'll be right back. Take off your pants." Kaidan came out quickly from the room when he returned; John was lying in bed in underwear, but with his shirt on. For a moment he stared at him. The word sexy was too short to describe John; the man looked hot.

"Major?"

"Oh, sorry I'll spread a cream on your legs. My dad used to suffer from rheumatism, and my mom used to apply this ointment something to ease his pain."

"I'm sorry Kaidan. Now I regret not has said yes that day if, I would have done at least you had enjoyed a complete man. Now-"

"Stop saying that. You're recovering, and that doesn't happen through the night. Recovery took time. We have plenty of time to consummate our love as you say."

John let out a sigh. "You are an incredible man."

"No, I am a man who loves you, and care deeply about you."

First Kaidan gave him his new medication, knowing that those pills were going to dope him, but for Kaidan John health was more important than a night of passion. Kaidan sat next to John, and began to smear the ointment on his right leg; and then he began to massage his whole leg slowly. He heard John let out a sigh of relief.

"John..."

"Don't stop what you're doing it feels good."

Kaidan continued for a while relieving his pain with his hands. He felt pain of seeing his Commander in pain almost all the time, but he figured that was the price he has to pay for the miracle of being alive.

A while later after he washed his hands, Kaidan entered the room again. John has his head resting on the pillow and his right hand under it, and his other hand resting on his leg he had fallen asleep. Kaidan gave him a kiss on the cheek, and cover his body with a blanket, and then he turn off the light.

Before leaving the room, he stared at him. John didn't looks like that Commander, who a few months ago saved the life of an entire galaxy, if not, a common and ordinary man who continued to struggle to stay on his feet. Anyway, that was the man he loves. He left the room to his mother's room; they had a lot to talk about.


	3. Chapter 3

Kaidan woke up the next morning and immediately he look for John in bed that was sleeping peacefully next to him. He felt the need to hug him, but he didn't want to wake him, because last night he slept uneasily. He got out of bed carefully not to wake him. Kaidan felt the smell of fresh cafe and that made him smile. His mother always got up early to prepare coffee.

Kaidan dressed himself quickly and after brushing his teeth he headed to the kitchen. His mother was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee. Kaidan approached her and kissed her cheek before going to the coffee maker to prepare coffee. While he was preparing his coffee he could watch his mother closely.

His mother could look strong, but Kaidan knew that was only in the outside, inside he knew that his mother was shattered by his father death. He approached the table and sat beside her. After taking a sip of his coffee, he grabbed his mother's hand and kissed it. His mother was the great love of his life. That woman had given him everything.

"Talk to me mom." His mother looked at him, and he felt a deep pain, seeing the hurt in her eyes. He felt every tear that began to emerge from her eyes.

"I miss him in every corner of this house. You know that and I am an old woman, your father was my first love and he will be the only one. I was used to him, to his way of being. He was a grumpy old man, but he was my old man."

"Yes I miss him too. I can still see him through the house giving orders. I remember last Christmas we spent together he was happy. I still can't believe he's no longer here. Mom you are no old."

"I know that, nut it doesn't matter I don't want anybody out. I know that wherever your father is, he'll always be watching over us. Now tell me how Shepard spent the night?"

Kaidan took the cup to his mouth; then he looked thoughtful for a moment. He couldn't hide the concern that he felt for John. "He didn't have a good night. I am extremely worried about him."

"Everything is going to be all right son; Shepard is seen to be a strong man."

"He is mom. John was very strong during the war. It hurts to see him so weak now, but he is taking things very well. I think he's tired."

"I don't blame him after everything he went through first his death, and then the war against the Reapers. Son we should prepare a good breakfast for him."

"Yes mom it is a good idea I'll help you."

"Son, your dad was very proud of you."

Kaidan smiled. "I know mom."

After that Kaidan helped his mother prepare a good breakfast making him remember his childhood. That kitchen makes him remember his father very much. Many times the two of them tried to make breakfast for his mother when she was sick, but they often ended up making a mess.

This morning he was going to pass by the cemetery. He knew that, in that grave, it wasn't the body of his father, but it was a place to feel closer to his dad. John had also told him that he wanted to go to his father's grave to pay his respect. Kaidan's father was once, a great soldier.

A while later Kaidan entered with a tray to the bedroom; John was still fast asleep. He put the tray on the bedside table, and then walked over to the bed and touched John's shoulder shaking him. Kaidan saw John open his eyes, and he immediately gave him a morning kiss. "Good morning, sleepyhead."

John laughed and grabbed Kaidan's cheek. "So I'm a sleepyhead huh, what time it's?"

"It's eight in the morning."

"What? Then yes I'm a sleepyhead. I used to be up at five in the morning." John said.

"That was before your body wasn't weak. I brought you breakfast."

Kaidan walked away from John and saw him move his legs at the foot of the bed and sit up, rubbing his legs. "John-"

"I'm fine; I'll go to the bathroom."

John saw him walk slowly to the bathroom that was in his bedroom. Kaidan walk to where the drawer was where they put their clothes, and pulled out a change of clothes for John. Kaidan sat in bed and hear the water coming out from the shower, and then he let out a sigh he was wishing to enter the bathroom. Kaidan throwing himself back in bed, the fact was that he was dying to be with that man.

He got up from the bed a minute later and began to walk up and down the room until he couldn't take anymore. He went to the bathroom, but he just stood in the doorway, looking at john's silhouette through the curtain of the bathroom. Spite of being a soldier he was a man with desires like any other man, and he had urgency to be with him.

"You want me to lather your back?" Kaidan asks him and he saw john poke his head around the curtain. He had his head smeared with shampoo.

John saw Kaidan's face all flushed, and he laughed. "If I allow you to do that, we are going to be in serious trouble. Just thinking about your hands on my body, well, I better show you."

Kaidan saw John push the curtain aside, he immediately looked down and gulped to see John's largest organ pointing straight. Kaidan cleared his throat and pointed to the door. "I... I'll be waiting in the bedroom," Kaidan said, and then turned around fast, but not before hearing him laugh out loud.

"Kaidan calm your cravings!" Kaidan thought aloud. He looks down, and he notices the bulge in his pants. "Shit!" He was acting like a damn teenager. He headed to the nightstand and grabbed his plate. When John came out of the bathroom he tries to ignore the sexy body that dropped the towel almost in front of him.

Kaidan couldn't help looking at him out of the corner of his eyes. Kaidan bit his lips tightly to see John's naked body. In spite of all the scars that John had for the injuries sustained that day, the man was sexy.

"Major, looks up."

"No, you're torturing me!"

John laughed. "You're right. I'm going to play nice for now."

Kaidan sigh of relief when John got dressed, then he sat beside him to eat breakfast. "You're very handsome John," Kaidan commented a little embarrassed.

"You too, though I've never seen you naked, you already had seen me before today."

"I was very worried listening to you complains of pain to noticing these things," Kaidan said sadly.

"Sorry."

"Okay. Hey, I'm curious about something. Steve knew you liked men that he dared kiss you? I already knew because you told me before."

"I told him once in confidence."

"Oh, okay."

"You have doubt about me?"

"No. I was just curiosity."

"Where is your mother?"

She had something to do with some friends this morning. We will see her later. I want to go to the cemetery early."

"Sure, after that I would like you to show me around."

Kaidan thought for a moment what he was going to say. He didn't want John to be standing for a long time, but he understood that it wasn't easy for a man like him lying on a bed all the time. "Do you feel any pain?"

"No, this morning I feel good. I want us to spend a nice day, and then we are going to," John touches Kaidan's cheek. "Spend an unforgettable night. I can't wait any longer."

"I can't wait ether."

After breakfast, the two of them left the house. Kaidan looked at him and smiled; he had never seen John with sunglasses on, and the clothes that he had chosen for him made him look even more handsome. His Commander grabbed his hand as they walked to the shuttle, and inside the Shuttle his Commander kissed him gently for a moment.

"John you're lovely."

John chuckled. "Who do you thought I was Kaidan?"

"I thought you were a brave and powerful commander, capable of giving his life for an entire universe." Kaidan said, before turning on the Shuttle.

"But you forgot that I am a man. I am like any other man." John grabbed his hand. "I like to flatter my partner and much more if it is the person I love."

Kaidan said nothing after that and concentrated on the road. There still pieces of those old machines lifeless lying on the streets, when they fell from the sky that day. People were trying to get back to normal, but there was still plenty to do. There still had people trapped in other words.

They both walked away from everything that has to do with the Alliance. Kaidan was devoted to caring for John the last few months, and now the two have to discuss future plans. They were both agreeing that they had done a lot, now it was up to others to help rebuild the Relay, and the Citadel. John was too weak to command a ship again, and Kaidan felt that the war had taken away a lot from him, and he wanted to rest, at least for a while.

No one knows how many lives were lost in the war, but there were many. Kaidan knew that John sometimes felt guilty about the choice he made that day. After hearing everything that happened inside the Citadel that time John stay alone after he sends him back, he understood that John had no choice but to do so.

"Kaidan when we come back I want you to meet my mother."

"Okay, I've seen her in VI, but I love to see her in person."

"She is charming as your mother."

"With a son like you, I can imagine it."

Arriving at the cemetery then to his father grave, Kaidan saw fresh flowers. He imagined that his mother had put there if, he knew his mom he knew she probably came over every week to ensure that his father's grave is clean. His mother was a very religious person.

"Are you okay?" John asked placing his hand on Kaidan's shoulder.

"Those damn machines came to take away our dear loved one. It hurts immensely not being able to say Goodbye."

"I know. I couldn't say Goodbye to my father either; he died in the line of duty."

Kaidan looked at John surprised. "You've never talked about him."

"It's hard for me. My father and I were very close, and talk about his death still hurts. My father's body was never recovered, so I know what it feels to bury an empty coffin."

Kaidan raised his head to look at John. "I suffered an internal struggle, about the death of my father, and my feelings for you during the war. You should have told me you loved me, I would have gladly waited for the war to end, for you."

"I was a stupid."

Kaidan gave him a sad smile. "No, you were just being who you've always been, an exemplary commander, who always thought of others before him, and that made me fall in love with you."

Kaidan walked away from John and crouched in front of his father grave. He put the flowers he had bought at the entrance to the cemetery, in the vase that was on the gravestone, with his mother flowers. "I didn't have the opportunity to tell you, I felt proud to be your son. All your nagging and advice led me to be the man I am now. Dad I love you."

* * *

><p>John didn't imagine spending part of the morning and afternoon as he was spending it with Kaidan, he was having fun. They parked the shuttle, and the two walked the streets like normal people. The thing was that everyone recognized his face, and John had to stop several times to greet people. There were some kids who asked him to write his autograph on their caps.<p>

They went to eat at a restaurant, and he was the center of attention. John didn't want that kind of attention, but he had to admit that, for some people he was a hero, to others he was a criminal, by his decision that day. The decisions that were put in front of him that day were challenging. Control was something that wasn't in his plans, let alone changes everyone in the galaxy, he was not a God, and he didn't want to become one.

John looked at Kaidan, who was drinking a beer. They were in a restaurant that was in the dock. They were sitting outside, where they could enjoy the view of the sea. John grabbed Kaidan's hand. "Can I have a beer?"

"You know you can't drink. Your medications are very strong."

"Just for today, I don't think is going to kill me. It had been years since I enjoy a day like this."

"Okay, but don't abuse it."

"I promise you," John said before waving his hand to the waiter, who immediately gave him service.

"John you thought what we are going to do now that the war over?"

"No. We are specters; we can fill out reports."

"You hate filling out reports."

John brought Kaidan's hand to his mouth kissing it. "We'll figure out what we can do later. Now let's talk about us. I want-" John was interrupted by the waiter who brought his beer and their meals. "Uhm ..." John expressed when he saw his fish, accompanied with a baked potato and broccoli. Kaidan had ordered steak and fries.

"You were saying John," Kaidan said as he cut his steak.

"I was telling you; I want to ask you formally to stay with me in the apartment."

"Oh, Okay, but I wanted something here." Kaidan look toward the sea. "I like the breeze from the sea."

John entered a piece of fish in his mouth. "I love the idea. We can buy something here, and keep the apartment. Thought I saw some houses that are for sale on the way to the restaurant. We can come another day to see them."

The thought of a quiet life wasn't a bad idea. He wanted a house overlooking the sea, where Kaidan and he could sit and enjoy the peace that with the help of his crew they brought to the galaxy. He was tired of fighting, it was time to rest.

"Uhm this steak is delicious. I like the idea with a balcony overlooking the sea."

"You stole my thought," John said smiling, and then he brings the bottle to his mouth. He thought of getting married, and has children, but it was too early to talk about it. He was sure that Kaidan was the right man to start a family with, but everything takes time.

"Do you want children?"

"You're reading my mind?" John asked him with a look of surprise.

"No, I am not Liara, it is normal to think about it."

"Well, yes, but over time." John saw him smile as he carried his fork to his mouth. "I like to make you smile. Let me tell you, you don't know how many times I got distracted looking at, well, looking at your ass during the missions.

Kaidan chuckled. "Now I understand why sometimes I looked at you and you turn your face quickly, with a blushing face."

"Guilty as charged!"

Kaidan grabbed his hand. "You were not the only one!"

"I see, so I wasn't imagining it when I thought I saw you checking my ass."

Kaidan laughed aloud before he brings the bottle to his mouth. "Many times I went to bed sexually frustrated."

"I took cold showers, repeatedly in a day."

They both laughed at the same time. The rest of the conversation was more humorous, to confess about the time that their hands did their job for them, thinking about each other. John felt very at ease talking with him, and he didn't care the prying eyes that were staring at them.

Later on they got back at the house then they finished spending the afternoon with Kaidan's mother, and his cousins, who had come over to meet him. John talks to them about what they went through during the war. He talked about his mother too, and the work she was doing. John felt as if he were among family.

Kaidan's cousin Alex was very nice but curious. He was also a soldier, he was Lieutenant. John felt very comfortable with them. It was nice to be in a very different environment to which he was accustomed to be. John was an only child like his mother, so his family was short.

John looked at Kaidan, who was laughing with his family. He never had seen him laugh so much, he seemed a different man. Apparently the two of them had forgotten their human side. He could see the happiness in Kaidan's mother to have her son with her.

By late afternoon, after they all left the two of them retired to their bedroom. Immediately the door closed he grabbed Kaidan's waist and pulled him. He kissed him deeply for a while. John could feel the taste of beer in Kaidan's lips. His body was reacting to the kiss, and then he began to lead him towards the bed slowly.

"John waits."

"Why?" John said before falling into bed with him.

"John..."

"Yes!"

"You drank a lot."

"I drank just a little." John ran his tongue on top of Kaidan's lips before gently biting it.

"I want to take a bath first...oh... John," Kaidan moaned as he felt his hand on his bare skin.

"Later," John said as he ran his hand over his nipples.

"John, please I want to be clean for you."

John let out a sigh. "Let's do it together then."

"But-" John covered his lips with his finger.

"No buts, I can't stand the urge to see your naked body." John move away from him, and he extended his hand. "C'mon."

Kaidan grabbed his hand, and the two walked to the bathroom. John undressed first, and then he looks at Kaidan. "I'm waiting, show me what you got."

"Oh God, John this is embarrassing."

"Kai, we're dating, don't feel like that."

"Your legs are fine?"

"Yes, Today I feel good. You know what, forget it, C'mon here." Kaidan started to say something, but he interrupted him with a passionate kiss as he removed his shirt and dropped it to the floor. He lowers his hand toward Kaidan's pants to open it. He was eager to feel his skin.

"Let me do it," Kaidan said.

John watched him pulls away, and take off his shoes, and then his pants. He came back to Kaidan to help him with his underwear; he started taking it off slowly while he was crouching down. When John climbed up, he did slowly while kissing his right leg's up to his crotch.

John..."

John didn't wait another second, and he grabbed his cock. He inhaled his masculine scent. "You cock smell good," John said before placing it against his pelvis to pass his tongue behind it from the base to the head.

"Oh, God what you're doing is feel so good." Kaidan groaned; then he throws his head back, and he lowers his hand to John's head, resting on it.

John let go his cock and looked it for a moment, it was exactly as he had imagined too many times. John grabs Kaidan's cock cover half with his hand and he ran his tongue around the head for a second, then he pass the tip of his tongue over the tip of his cock. He tastes Kaidan's pre-cum before entering it completely in his mouth.

John sucks it slowly at first and let's goes to put his hands behind Kaidan's ass. It had been a long time that John didn't do that to anyone, but he remembered how to do it. He could hear Kaidan's intense moans as he was pushing his head to the beat of his mouth.

John pulled his cock out and moved his left hand to hold it as he ran his tongue around the sensitive part of the head. He can feel his cock pounding by the intense pleasure that he was feeling, and he lower his other hand to it, to touch it.

"John...I...Fuck... you are going to make me cum," Kaidan said after a while.

John gave him one last suck and stood up. "We don't want that. Do we?" John said before seize his lips. Without breaking the contact the two entered the shower, and John opened the hot water. He groaned when their cocks were rubbed each other, while the hot water was falling over their bodies.

"I love you," John muttered.

"Me too, I really liked what you did."

"I enjoy doing it." John grabbed the soap and started to soap him slowly. John took his time lathering his body, and then Kaidan lather him. John turned him over to kiss his back slowly. He brushed his cock in Kaidan's ass and squeezed his waist while he was moaning hard he wanted to be inside him badly; therefore, finished the shower.

The two came out of the shower. John dry Kaidan body and then he began to dry his hair with the towel disarranging, and he laughed. "You look handsome!"

"John you're amazing."

"I'm in love."

The two came out of the bathroom with a towel around their waist kissing each other. John took him back to bed, and now on top of him he removed their towel leaving only their naked bodies rubbing each other. John wanted to taste all his body with his lips, he started with his neck to his chest where he toured it slowly with his mouth and ran his tongue around his nipple.

John turned him over to kiss his back as well as he did in the shower. "Kaidan pass me the bottle of lubricant." John heard him breathe out as he reached for the bottle of lube. "Kaidan relax."

"It's hard."

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know. Your first time was painful?"

"At first and then it was pleasant." John grabbed his waist to position him on the bed. He kissed his buttocks slowly, and then daubs his finger with lubricant. John put his finger on Kaidan's entry rubbing it gently; the he felt Kaidan's body tense. "Kaidan relax."

"I'm trying."

While rubbing his finger he was kissing Kaidan's butt, and just like that he enter his finger slowly. John felt Kaidan move forward, but he stopped him, and he could enter his full finger moving it slowly. He moved his hand forward to stroke his cock slowly.

When he felt Kaidan relax then he pulled his finger out and knelt on the bed. He grabbed his cock, but first he rubs the tip in around his hole, and then he pushed slowly in. Kaidan cries out, and he pulls back. "Kaidan did I hurt you?"

"No, Dammit John, you are big."

"You want me to stop."

"No, goes ahead, it feels strange is all."

John did, and after a few moments of frustration, and pain for the two of them because John felt Kaidan's pain, he was moaning inside Kaidan. A while later John pulled out and turned him over to enter him again. He covered Kaidan's mouth with his then he entered his tongue running into Kaidan's tongue, then he enjoys every inch of his mouth.

Kaidan began to moan with each throw t he was doing, and that gave him more pleasure. Kaidan's ass was tight and was squeezing his cock it was driving him mad. "Your ass is amazing," John muttered between his lips.

"Your cock."

John didn't want to be rough, but he couldn't help it. He moves fast and hard inside. It had been so long since the last time his body felt so much pleasure as he was feeling now. "Kaidan you are enjoying this?"

"What do you think?" Kaidan asks him, before biting his ear gently.

"You don't know how I wanted to be with you this way. I promise you that I will dedicate my life to make you happy." It was the last thing John said for a while before they end up sweaty hugging each other after an intense orgasm. "Kaidan you're okay?" John asks him after a while.

"My ass hurts, but I'm fine."

John rubbed his toes with Kaidan's and kisses his lover calmly. "I have a good cure for that."

"Which is?" Kaidan asks him between his lips.

"That we do it every day, until you get used to me."

Kaidan chuckled. "What about me? I want to enjoy your ass too."

"Let's wait a little while, and you can enjoy it. Not everyone can have a taste of this ass."

"Commander Shepard's ass you mean?"

"Yes."

"Very well then, I'm flattered."

John laughed between their teeth. "I'm totally lost in love with you Major, and part of the miracle of being alive today it's for you. I love you," John said before kissing him deeply.


End file.
